


A Lesson on Causality

by Sugar_and_Salt



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Intellectual Disability, M/M, Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8820046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugar_and_Salt/pseuds/Sugar_and_Salt
Summary: Sehun keeps returning to his former workplace, keeps returning to mentally handicapped Jongin. And Jongin keeps trying to find out which tattoo on Sehun's arm is the one revealing his soulmate (in the long run).





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually write this type of au, so I hope you enjoy it! Much love to my beta J!

 

A sunny afternoon in fall had Sehun walking down the hallways of the residential establishment, sneakers squeaking on the polished, bright floor. When he'd first stepped into it about a year ago, he'd been wondering how  _ normal  _ everything looked, being the naive little brat he liked to believe he wasn't anymore. Now he was mostly bored by the interior, and had begun to wonder how Jongin could possibly stand seeing these bright walls everyday without starting to resent them. But Jongin was different from him, and his way of dealing with this issue was-

"I'm telling you, getting this chocolate was really troublesome and you better-" Sehun began as he pushed open the door to Jongin's room, only to be greeted by an empty room, white curtains softly moving in the wind of an opened window.

He found Jongin in the generous backyard of the facility, nowhere near the playground or benches - instead, he was sitting in a sea of fallen leaves, playing with them like a kid would play with sand. Because to most people, that's exactly what Jongin was - a kid stuck in an adult body.

_ Mild intellectual disability, F-70 _ , was what they primarily associated with Kim Jongin, and that was the only information they had given Sehun, too, back when he had started his internship.

_ He's a really easy one, just be nice and keep him some company _ , they had said.

Sehun noisily rustled through the leaves, but Jongin only looked up when he all but blocked the late afternoon sun, too enthralled by the flimsy leaves beneath his fingertips. When he did look up, however, a brilliant smile spread across his face.

"Sehun!"

He made no attempt to get up, and Sehun didn't ask him to. Instead, Sehun sank to the ground next to him, making himself comfortable (and trying not to mind whatever insects might lurk between the leaves).

"Out to catch some fresh air, huh?" he asked the other, and Jongin nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah! The weather was really nice, so Mrs. Park suggested I wait for you outside. And you really found me."

Sehun huffed, nudging the other’s side with a teasing grin.

"What, you thought I'd just give up when you're not in your room? I didn't come all the way here with your beloved chocolate just to go home again."

"You really got the chocolate?" Jongin asked, curious orbs flitting down to search for it.

"I left it in your room. The sun would just melt it," Sehun replied, and though Jongin did pout, he begrudgingly agreed.

"So what were you thinking about?" Sehun asked, leaning back on the heels of his hands to comfortably watch Jongin toy with the leaves around him, though most of the brunet's attention was on him. Jongin was very easily distracted, but Sehun was one of the very few exceptions. Jongin hummed thoughtfully, looking around as he tried to get a hold of his former chain of thoughts. It was endearing, how obvious his features brightened up at the memory.

"Ah, I was thinking about the leaves. We learned at school that plants are alive, right? Because they're growing and dying, like animals and humans. So I wondered whether all these leaves should make me feel sad. Because it's like a graveyard of leaves, isn't it? But they're really pretty, even though they're dead and death is a sad thing. Hm..." he trailed off, carefully grasping a handful of leaves as the thought process was continued where he'd left off, shades of vine red, warm orange and hazelnut against sun-kissed skin.

A graveyard of leaves. What a Jongin-thing to say. Pondering how people could admire the beauty of death - Jongin wasn't able to construct intricate metaphors or follow abstract concepts. Society called him unintelligent. But Jongin  _ thought  _ about things, and more often than not, Sehun felt like he was closer to the truth than many educated people who penned down their knowledge to be taught to others.

Bright, brown orbs, melted chocolate dipped in golden honey. Dark brown curls, a boyish grin. Warm and curious, with a mind like a feather aimlessly floating through the air. A welcoming and affectionate heart. The list of things Sehun associated with Kim Jongin was long, and nowhere on it would you find the crude medical term supposedly categorizing him.

"Did you get a new tattoo  _ again _ ?" Jongin suddenly asked, ripping him out of his reverie. Sehun followed his accusing gaze down to his covered left arm. He unconsciously gripped it, as if afraid Jongin might try to pry up his sleeve and check which of the words were new. Because Sehun had many words scattered across his arm, in different fonts and sizes.

At an early stage in your life, fate would ink one word into your skin, and that word was supposedly the last one your soulmate would ever say to you. Supposedly, Sehun thought to himself, because there was no scientific proof.

Sehun still began to add tattoos even before it was legal to do so. He didn't want people to know, he didn't want people to say it, he didn't want to be judged by it. He just wanted to be free of this burden.

Yes, to Sehun the whole thing was nothing but a bother, something that would make you feel anxious about relationships and took away the genuity.

Jongin, of course, was different.

He could see it peek out from below his sweater, the last swirls of the elegant 'Sayounara' stretching across his right collarbone. Any other person would naturally assume that their soulmate was Japanese, and therefore disregard any other possible candidate - not so Jongin.

And a few hours later, when Sehun had to go home, Jongin wouldn't let him go until he parted with the word 'Sayounara'. As usual.

Because Jongin was perfectly determined that Sehun was his soulmate.

And if not, he would  _ make  _ him his soulmate by making him say the word at every single parting.

To Jongin, this was perfectly reasonable.

Sehun still internally sighed in relief whenever Jongin read the wrong word off his arm as he bid him farewell.

"See you tomorrow!" he piped happily, and Sehun quietly waved in response as he left the facility.   
  
  


* * *

To be honest, Sehun's internship had ended almost half a year ago. And yet it felt perfectly natural to wait for Jongin outside the school building, like every Tuesday and Friday.

Sehun loved Tuesdays and Fridays, and so did Jongin.

The boy almost skipped over to him with open delight on his features, because the simple boy didn't know the concept of masking his feelings.

He quickly launched into a vivid report of his day, as they leisurely made their way to their favorite restaurant for their weekly serving of grilled meat. When he'd first met Jongin, the boy had been rather quiet and withdrawn, but by now it was clear that he'd merely been shy.

"I had to read my homework in math, but it was alright, because I barely had any mistakes at all!" he just announced, hand naturally finding Sehun's. People underestimated Jongin all the time - they'd assume he was falling into his childlike habits, when in fact Jongin was not naturally touchy at all. He just knew very well what he could get away with, and even though it had caught Sehun off guard the first time he did it, holding hands had become the norm for them whenever they were out. Especially around Jongin's home, people had stopped paying the close pair of boys any heed.

"Kyungsoo looked really annoyed, as always. He didn't even make his homework, but if I were him, I'd probably not do it either," he lightly said, swinging their hands back and forth. Kyungsoo was Jongin's best friend at school, and unlike him, his intellect was perfectly developed. He might even be smarter than average, but this school wasn't for the healthy kids, and Kyungsoo's brain had him forget 90% of what he did the previous day as soon as he fell asleep.

Jongin was a very devoted friend, and he'd talk about Kyungsoo a lot. It used to irk Sehun, but those times were over. Because Jongin would only ever hold hands or cuddle with Kyungsoo as a sign of solidarity and comfort - he cuddled Sehun, because he  _ wanted  _ it (and boy, he could get really pouty if Sehun denied him)

Jongin had grown a little silent in contemplation, something that happened occasionally, and only spoke up when they were waiting in front of the plate with sizzling meat, trying not to give in to the tempting smell just yet.

"You know, everyone says that Kyungsoo can remember almost nothing, and that he'd certainly forget about all the Math stuff first. Because to him, people are more important. So I was thinking that maybe he forgets everything in order to remember that I'm his partner in class," he hummed, aimlessly swirling the water in his glass. Sehun was already fearing the boy might turn sad again, but when he looked up, a small smile was gracing his lips.

"But when I told him, Kyungsoo said he doesn't have to try and remember me anymore. And on some days he'll choose the seat next to me even if he isn't sure who I am. Don't you think that's really awesome? His heart remembers me."

Sehun couldn't help himself, and with a huff, he ruffled the others hair, ignoring his faint protest.

"Of course he remembers you. You never gave up on him. I'm sure he is very thankful for that."

It was often like this - the way Sehun talked to Jongin was different than the way he'd talk with his acquaintances. It may seem like he's belittling naive, simple Jongin, when it was everything but. Sehun was accommodating to the mental tools Jongin was able to work with, but on that level, Jongin usually outdid him.

"He doesn't say it a lot, and I think the more Kyungsoo remembers, the less he says it. Because he knows that I know it's alright. Just like we don't have to say thank you for all the little things," Jongin said with absolute certainty, “because we just  _ know _ .”

He cocked his head to the side to scrutinize Sehun's face as another thought hit him; rapid changes of topic were nothing unusual with Jongin.

"Today, I thought about how you're always visiting me even if you're tired. My teacher said that in university, you have to study at least three times as much as me, and a lot more difficult things, too. She also said that you must be really smart to study psychology," he earnestly added, looking quite proud of Sehun. It was flattering, even though it wasn't too difficult to impress Jongin, who had a natural awe for people who were 'smart'. It seemed like this wasn't what the brunet was aiming at though, for he inched closer without hesitation and slung an arm around Sehun, who watched his moves with mild confusion.

"So I bet you're actually really tired from studying, right? You can rest on me," he stated, insistently tugging at Sehun, until he gave in and placed his head on Jongin's shoulder, snuggling into the crook of his neck. Sehun’s slightly coarse, bleached hair must have tickled him, for he felt the other squirm ever so slightly, but Jongin stayed put, determined to see this through as he announced that he'd turn the meat until it's done. Sehun's fond grin melted into a relaxed expression as he closed his eyes, enjoying the other’s scent and warm skin, listening to the low sizzling of meat. Comforting. Being close to Jongin was so, so comforting. Like a safe haven among his stressful, daily life.

He almost dozed off to the feeling of the other’s thumb tracing the many tattoos on his arm. All of them were very common words Sehun added whenever he saw them on other people one time too-often. They included many variations of ‘goodbye’, his own name, and a few mundane words such as 'alright' or 'thanks'. At this point, the newest additions had healed completely - it was not nice, but he _knew_ Jongin wasn't able to keep track of all his tattoos, subsequently forgetting which ones had been added after he'd met Sehun. That was part of the reason why he was still adding words.

Sehun actually ended up asleep, carried away by the way Jongin mouthed the words under his breath.

 

* * *

Jongin may only be able to work with the mental tools of a child, but neither fantasy nor emotions cared about age, and the boy was both hard-working and ambitious.

He may never be able to study science, or do anything that required abstract thinking... but he was a fantastic dancer. 

It was endearing, how the facility he lived at had accommodated him; after years of Jongin basically scratching at their gym door, impatiently waiting for the therapeutic sports groups to leave, they had cleaned out a nearby room and provided some high mirrors. Now, years later, Jongin was still diligently training almost every day, even though he wasn't the only one doing so anymore. In fact, his passion had inspired quite a few other inhabitants, and no matter their age or skills, Jongin was delighted to tutor them. The boy actually preferred to dance alone and do things at his own pace, and even though he never lacked enthusiasm in teaching others, he'd always make up for the lost time by practicing even longer by himself afterwards. He was determined, but also kind.

Sehun quite frankly  _ admired  _ his attitude, and wished he had anything near Jongin's perseverance.

"I'll give my best, okay? I'll win, okay?" he was just promising Sehun for the fourth time that day as they stood at a distance, watching the caretakers load their luggage into a bus. This wasn't even about encouragement - Sehun had seen him dance countless times, and he knew Jongin would win  _ any  _ competition, handicapped contestants or not.

"They said that I was allowed to participate in the regular competition, so I'm a little nervous..." Jongin rambled, licking his lips as his fingers restlessly played with Sehun's.

"Don't be silly, you'll do great," Sehun quickly assured him, grasping his hands tightly, "and if they dare look down on you, you'll just blow them away with your dancing skills. They'll feel very sorry for not having you as their friend then," he ended cheekily, and Jongin actually grinned, looking much calmer already.

"Okay... okay. So if I win, do I get a kiss?" he asked, hope all but lighting up his features.

Sehun choked on nothing but those words.

"W-what?"

Jongin was undeterred.

"A kiss. Not on the cheek, on the lips. A real kiss. Maybe with tongue, but it _does_ seem difficult, so maybe not. Not for the first time, that is," he relented, utterly serious about it.

Sehun hesitated, eyes already flitting around to check whether someone had overheard, but the caretakers usually stopped worrying about Jongin when Sehun was with him.

"A-are you sure that would be alright?" he asked carefully, and a disappointed frown appeared on Jongin's face.

"You don't want to?"

"No! I mean, of course I want to, but..." Sehun began, trailing off as he was temporarily missing the right words to get his conflicts across.

Jongin wasn't actually a kid. He was 19, the same age Sehun was, and getting sexual with him wouldn't technically be a crime, but to many, he had the mentality of a child, and Sehun was rightfully unsettled about the possible consequences. It wasn't that he didn't want to, quite the opposite even, and he knew Jongin was able to make his own decisions. But if they resulted in either Sehun getting banned from seeing him or the facility shunning poor Jongin-

"But what? When we got taught all about kissing and loving, Mrs. Park warned us not to be rash with these things, because she said people could use us. So I asked her, and she said if we still want to kiss after a long time, it would surely be the right thing to do."

Sehun couldn't do anything but stare at the sudden revelation that Jongin had been thinking about this so thoroughly.

"I waited a whole year, so now it's alright, isn't it? Or did you find someone else already?" he ended with a crestfallen face, as if only now considering this option. Sehun never even had a chance.

"God, no, what are you saying," he quickly began, rubbing the other’s shoulders, "of course I want to."

An instant sigh of relief escaped Jongin, and the caretakers began to usher the kids into the bus.

"Okay, then it's settled. I'll win, and I won't cheat, promise!" Jongin claimed with determination, before turning to join the others.

"Pfft. Who are you trying to fool, you're always cheating!" Sehun called after him, and got a stuck out tongue in response.

"Not true!"

He watched all the kids enter the bus, and Jongin already conversed with his favorite dance partner, a slightly older, blonde boy. Before he actually took the stairs, he hesitated though, looking over at Sehun.

"You didn't tell me goodbye," he stated, staying rooted to the spot as he waited with a look of impatient expectation, much to the amusement of those around him, who were all-too familiar with their little routine.

Sehun sighed.

"Take care. Sayounara."

Jongin grinned gratefully and waved. Sehun thought this was the end of it, but when the bus started moving, Jongin tugged open the backseat window with some difficulty, shouting after him.

"Bye, Sehun!!"

Sehun froze in his spot, eyes widening as his hand flew to his arm, palming it. Palming the writing that spelled his name, his original tattoo.

"No," he whispered, taking off after the bus to yell after him. "Jongin! Take care, have fun!"

But Jongin had already closed the window and was waving at him with a mischievous grin. Sehun came to a halt, breathing hard. He hadn't heard him anymore. Dread settled in his stomach, heavy and cold.

Calm down, he had to calm down. There was no need to be afraid of the words. In a really mind-twisting way, Jongin's philosophy  _ was  _ reasonable. The boy had rightfully told him once that the words weren't the thing causing harm, and that they were merely a promise of sorts. A promise between the two of them. In a flash, his irrational thoughts had even supplied the idea of harming himself in order for it to be  _ him  _ who left, but that was nonsense. There had been instances where people had committed suicide in the assumption it might save their loved one, but causality didn't work that way.

Yes, Sehun told himself, ignoring the eyes of the people on him.

Saying the words wasn't like provoking fate. What was meant to happen, would happen, words or not. Jongin would be back in two days already. It would be alright, he thought to himself as he slowly walked home, willing the unsettled churning in his stomach to die down.

 

Barely four hours had passed when Sehun received the call by one of the caretakers. He dropped everything and all but ran off during his shift at the library.

_ An overworked truck driver fell asleep and crashed into the bus from behind. _

He remembered Jongin's cheerful face from the last row of the bus.

_ Jongin has gotten the worst of it. He's not stable yet, I'll send you the address of the hospital. Be careful, Sehun. Don't make the words come true yourself. _

Sehun took a taxi, not minding the nausea-inducing fee.

He was still crying by the time he arrived at the hospital, and unable to care about his pitiful state. Never before had he prayed that hard for anything in his whole life.  _ Don't be true. Please. Let the ceiling crush and bury me right now. Anything. _

_ Just let it be me instead _ , he prayed.

He paced down the hospital corridor, tried not to hear the dulled words of the doctors scurrying to save Jongin. Eventually, Jongin's aunt showed up as well, looking white as a sheet. They didn't talk. No one dared tipping the tension, and Sehun eventually stopped pacing, just to slide down a wall gracelessly, clutching his arm. Leaving more bloody scratches on the godforsaken tattoo.

_

Hours passed and night had fallen, when they got the confirmation. Jongin was alive and stable. Severely hurt, but alive. It was a strange situation, how both Sehun and the woman he had seen at most twice in his life shared a firm hug, united by relief.

Jongin was asleep for now, and even though Sehun wanted to wait at his bed until the boy opened his eyes and said something,  _ anything  _ to him that wasn't his name... the hospital staff had to usher him out and kindly asked him to return the next day.

Sehun fell into a cheap hostel bed about an hour later, but sleep wouldn't come. Not when he still hadn't heard Jongin's voice.

Around dawn, exhaustion forcefully pulled Sehun into a deep sleep, and he only awoke in the earlier afternoon. A frantic call later had the staff assure him that yes, Jongin was still very much alright and how his aunt had visited him already. Still, perfect relief wouldn't set in, and half an hour later found Sehun in the hospital with damp hair he hadn't bothered to dry.

He was led to Jongin's room, but when he entered, he found the other peacefully slumbering. Just seeing him was already easing a lot of his fears, and Sehun sank into the chair next to his bed in something akin to awe, eyes never straying from the other’s unusually pale skin. Bandages were covering his head and countless band aids in various sizes were spread out on his cheeks, neck, and collarbones until they disappeared under either the blanket or his hospital gown. A few nasty-looking blue bruises littered the free arm he had draped over his stomach.

Yes. Heavily-bruised, but alive.

When his eyes dared to stray, they landed on an opened spiral notebook on the bedside table. Unable to help himself, Sehun reached for it. There was a list on it, clearly written by Jongin, who had this distinct chicken-scratch writing of a young boy trying very hard to get all the swirls done nicely.

 

_ Do not forget!! _ _ * _

_ *Because they said my head might get more trouble in the long run. Maybe I'll become like Kyungsoo, so here's a list of things I definitely must not forget, just to be safe: _

_1\. I really,_ _really_ _like Sehun._

_ 2\. He's my soulmate. _

_ 3\. I love dancing, and I gotta train everyday _

_ 4\. My favorite song is 'Breathe'. _

_ 5\. My best friend is Kyungsoo. _

_ 6\. I always gotta be nice to him, because Kyungsoo forgets a lot. _

_ 7\. I'm not very smart, but it's not my fault. _

_ 8\. Sehun promised to kiss me (but not with tongue just yet) _

 

Sehun wanted to laugh and cry and maybe kiss Jongin awake right now, when the door opened and a male nurse peeked inside.

"Mr. Oh? Could you come out for a moment?"

Confused, Sehun placed the notebook aside, stepped out and softly closed the door.

"I'm terribly sorry, I hadn't heard of your arrival," the guy began, looking thoroughly apologetic, and it scared Sehun, to be honest, "but there's something you should maybe know beforehand, in order to not stress the patient."

"And what would that be?" Sehun asked warily, stomach already plummeting again. The nurse barely concealed a sigh.

"The boy has had a traumatic brain injury."

Sehun felt time stop right then.

"He has lost his hearing completely. There's no saying whether it'll return, but as of now, the doctors estimate the probability to be very low."

Deaf. Jongin had turned deaf. Jongin, who lived to dance. Jongin, who loved to lounge on his bed, listening to the pitter patter of the rain.

_ My favorite song is ‘Breathe’. _

A part of Sehun told him that he should be completely dried out by now. He'd cried more in the past 24 hours than he'd done in his whole life, and yet he could feel his eyes starting to burn again.

It wasn't fair. Why did it have to be his hearing, of all senses?

"I'm sorry. I can't offer you any comfort other than the fact that he's alive," the nurse softly continued and fuck, he was right, at least he was alive, "with regular speech training, he will probably maintain his ability to speak."

With a numb nod, Sehun wordlessly entered his room again... only to lock gazes with a very much awake Jongin. They must have roused him earlier.

He expected the boy to look tired and depressed, fully expected him to cry. What he got instead, was an eye-crinkling smile.

"Sehun!" he exclaimed, far-too loud now that he'd lost the feeling for the volume of his voice. He eagerly patted his bedside, looking up at him with lively expectation. Sehun hurried to wipe his tears with the back of his hand and settled on the mattress. He was still trying to blink away the remaining wetness, gaze averted, when Jongin palmed his cheeks with his hands, one warm and one cold, coaxing him to look up.

"Hey. Don't be sad," he whispered, and how could it be that Jongin was the one consoling him? The mere fact brought a fresh wave of tears to his eyes, and he was utterly helpless for once.

"Why aren't you-" he began, only to remember that Jongin wouldn't be able to hear him.

_ Why aren't you sad? _

Jongin blinked in question, and when Sehun shook his head, he shrugged it off, driven by his curt attention span and the urge to tell him something.

Jongin lightly patted his cheeks to gain his attention, before drawing one hand away to pull at the collar of his night gown, revealing a few of the letters which were miraculously unaffected by the whole accident.

"See? Now it's official - you're definitely my soulmate," he said, obviously trying hard to get the right volume. Sehun didn't know how to communicate with him, and simply tilted his head in question. He was about to reach for the notebook, when Jongin stopped him, earnestly waiting for the other to look him in the eyes.

"Because the last thing I ever heard from you was 'Sayounara'."

Sehun could only stare at the bruised boy, who was smiling so brightly, so genuinely. Who thought that this confirmation easily weighed out the pain and loss. Who was now stretching out his arms, shooting him the  _ look _ . The impatient, expectant one he had specifically come up with for Sehun.

Sehun complied, because he always did. Jongin didn't complain about his hug being too tight, about his bruises hurting in Sehun's vice-like grip. No, Jongin sighed in simple content, assuming he'd received Sehun as a soulmate because he'd fought for him. Because that's the way he'd always been. Wise in all the ways that matter.

 

 

 


End file.
